Posted by: Jonathan Caswell | February 15, 2011

FIVE “GRIM” LIMERICKS, by Jonathan Caswell

FIVE “GRIM” LIMERICKS, by Jonathan Caswell


The husband found someone much younger

To satisfy his growing hunger,

But his wife found out “natch”

And with great dispatch

Found them with each other and hung her!


Mr. Pullman was afraid of grave robbers

So enlisted some extra tomb jobbers

To crisscross with steel

The tomb passage seal

To avoid desecration thing-a-ma-bobbers.


That Valentine’s Day, lots of candy

Is sold in the stores is just dandy…

If diabetics go high

To the sweet bye-and-bye,

We’ll know then that something went randy.


You heard the news about Nellie…

Who fell into hamburger smelly,

The dogs bit her face

In the most fatal place…

The food at her wake—vermicelli.


A log roller rolled one too far

And all that they found was a spar

With a piton attached

The man was dispatched

In a way so tragic and bizarre.


  1. AUTHOR’S NOTE: Other than than George Pullman’s fear of being desecrated after death—he did have crisscrossed steel rails installed in his tomb—and the potential effects of too much sugar on a diabetic—and the hundreds of river log drives where men were killed—the above limericks are fictional….no people, dogs or vermicelli were hurt in the writing of this poetry.

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