First lesson, Birds and Bees
When I was just a young boy my Dad had said to me.
“Its time you sat and listened, to a lesson in sexuality.”
I sat right by his side he had my full attention.
And as he spoke I got confused, cause this is what he mentioned.
He talked a lot of baseball and about first base.
Like he was this big time lawyer, explaining a sensitive case.
Then I interrupted, “Why do I start at first base?”
“When I did not even stand to bat, right at what they call home plate!”
He just cleared his throat and went on to talk some more.
“Be quiet and just listen the object is to score.”
“Now we have to get to second, but take it nice and slow.”
I thought my dad knew baseball, but he doesn’t even know!
That if you take your time to second you surely will be out.
Does my dad know baseball? This I began to doubt.
Then he said, “When you reach second you will have to get to third.”
As mom came in he went silent and did not say a word.
She asked what we were talking about, he told her just baseball.
She just smiled and turned away and went back down the hall.
Then he said, “Where were we?” “Oh yes, we are now at third.”
“Dad, I thought that we were just at second?” This is what I heard.
“Explain again how did we make it, from second base to third?”
As I was getting tired while listening to his words.
Again he said, “You go real slow with every move you make.”
Now I know why he don’t play, he is making to many darn mistakes!
He asked me if I understood just what he was trying to say.
I shook my head and was getting bored, just wanted to get away.
As he goes on then he said, “Now lets go back to third.”
Only one more base to score, this was but his word.
Someday when I get bigger I will have to tell him this.
That when your playing baseball, it has nothing to do with a kiss!
An adolescent shaggy dog story….and the Dad ain’t got a clue (Mom does).
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