THEY ARE IN COLLEGE?

THEY ARE IN COLLEGE?

 

Today THE MICHAEL GRAHAM SHOW* on air

Looked at written language out there…

So few students read

It’s guaranteed,

They don’t know how to say it or care.

–

It’s like the radio ad for HD,

They haven’t read what they’re hearing to see…

True meanings of words

That may sound absurd,

And they can’t say phrases properly.

–

College freshmen are so uninformed

That to teach them brings down the norm…

They may never catch up

To higher levels abrupt,

And thus an educational storm.

–

Not that High School unions really care,

Since the eighties, twice as many are there…

Twice as many real bucks

Have been spent on their yucks,

But real improvement since the eighties isn’t there!

–

He played some clips of poor Boston Major Menino,

Like a mangled English word casino…

Like this freshman class,

Menino wouldn’t pass

Like I wouldn’t look good in a speedo!

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I remember an upper-level course*

I took where my classmates tried force…

For no in-class essays,

As a test that dismayed

‘Cause through High School they only had multiple choice!

(I really began to appreciate my own junior and senior high education then—I’d had in-class essay tests since at least the 10th grade!)

—Jonathan Caswell

***NOTE: A medium-upper level literature college course in 1975.