“FICTIONAL” FERTILIZER

“FICTIONAL”  FERTILIZER

 

In the heart of a John Creasy pot-boiler book,

A sea captain tries to kill…

The tomato plant given by his wife,

Which thrives and is flowering still.

–

He drowns it with coffee and cigar ash,

Absent-mindedly thinking it will die….

But it takes over one whole cabin wall

And if he cared he’d know just why.

–

A colleague of mine dumps her leftover coffee

On the flowers as the office she leaves…

She says it’s a “pick-me-up” for the plants,

Which are brighter for the coffee received.

–

When our cat drinks tea from my wife’s tea cup

We’ll often dispose of the rest…

By pouring it on the indoor rose bush,

Its survival has us impressed.

–

Coffee and ashes sweeten acid soil,

That’s why ashes didn’t help our laurel bush…

But as long as there are coffee and smokers around

Flowers will get that extra push!

 

—Jonathan Caswell