WHEN I LOOK BACK………~by Rajendra Padhi

 

 

WHEN I LOOK BACK………

My critics dismayed for making me fun in sun
I m gone to realms of mine to scan the past
The Disguised faces in veil defile soul,
Their grubby stuff of game like obsequies
Displeased me in their cunning tricks, intrigues,
In their vaulted hearts gloomily reeled in day
Withdrew their look in jealousy and rage,
The coquetry left me rotten in horrid shock
My prayers to God in placid morn caressed
Guided me through pain as I bowed my eyes,
My help in their knowing and not knowing
Never flamed their hearts but sighed away,
Like vulgar words caused discernment
Snakes of their mossy-mind made me a pray,
It is for them I had opted solitude to write
In gratitude for wounding me again and again
Drove me as a storm down the streets
Flying here and there screaming loud,
So much of pain wolves can’t cause in killing
Dying and rising up every morn in caprice
Misfortune as best for man to rise gallantly,
Dwell around my tears as a running brook
In triumphed flow uninjured by sunshine,
Surrendered to wishes of God like a hill
Assuredly quiet to see my tears to sparkle
The sunlight that causes rainbow in it.

It is a breathing moment my heart, I sought
Gratified, little pleasures count much,
In the dark streets the light has come up
Long I waited to find me in me in walk,
I see my shadows clearly; we look at each other,
Not possessed in playful desires to be diffused
Wholly to myself sufficed for words for my verse,
I am asleep deeply in the bed of a cloud
Mysteriously flown away as breeze desires,
The treachery and vile obnoxiously outdated
The camouflaged-eyes like evil-star disappear,
Contended like a horse with munching of grass
May I starve like a beggar it does not matter!
Or in a sudden diversion I fall to a gorge
Or be a saint in a monastery never thought,
Now I look at me to try around my fate
Tracing out the lucky- stops in my journey,
My folly in heart would no more pain in vain
Pickup a toothpick to clear dirt from teeth,
Not to be anymore a fish in net to be entangled
And flutter out of pain to breath in life,
Now I am a student only to learn and wait
The world as my school and God my teacher.
DT 11-5-2014
Composed and copyright by Rajendra K. Padhi