Posted by: Ron DuBour | November 20, 2014

THE REALIZATION~by John Patrick Boutilier




The dawn is nearing but the darkness remains
As I am held here, bound by the chains
That you’ve put upon me, no apparent way out
From this wilderness of unknowing, this jungle of doubt
A steaming pile of garbage, no escape from the stench
A desert with no oasis, a thirst I can’t quench
A black hole in space, this hell that I’m in
An existence of nothing with nowhere to begin

But there must be an exit from this exile of view
Though where I’ve been stranded, I haven’t a clue
My mind now a hodgepodge of cloudy thought
Seeking solace in numbness from sentences wrought
So I must focus my energy, utilize all my pain
Concentrate on liberty, use all of my brain
If ever I am to escape from this place
I must see the real you when I look on your face

You are a madwoman the way you enjoy
Clawing and tearing at the soul of this boy
Your behaviour defines you, you’re a low parasite
Who both feeds on my pain and finds in it delight
You’re a vile, sick, despicable bitch
Satan’s whore, black hearted witch
Despite all your methods, evil forces employed
I will remain strong, I will not be destroyed

I am now with plan, I know what to do
I am going to remove, to take from you
What you feed upon, your nourishment
Has found a dagger, though rusted and bent
Will thrust it here deep within his side
And you’ll torture him not once he has died
A desperate act by a defiant man
Who will win his freedom however he can

The he you see is not the same
As he who played your sadistic game
He had to die, to no more be
To end the torture, his soul to free
From all the pain he was caused to feel
When you from him his heart did steal
A living death, a period of hell
A trap of love into which he fell

The he was the me in love with you
But his existence is over, his life is through
And now you have nobody there
On which to use your whip and chair
Your spiteful actions, your willful deceit
Will wither to dust when truth they meet
You’ll soon be unmasked, the truth will be known
Brought to task, you’ll reap what you’ve sown

You wanted fame, you think you’re a star
Soon the entire world will know who are
A succubus, a demon, a liar, a thief
The personification of evil and grief
Though you’ve taken so much, stolen from me
Everything of mine your eyes could see
It’s you who’s paid the greatest cost
For you’re the fool who has true love lost

All I required, some sign of your love
An emotion I discovered you’re incapable of
Now you beg a new start, but the hour’s too late
You must come to grips, accept this as your fate
The tides have changed, the sun has risen
The bird’s been freed from within its prison
No strings attached, no chains on me
It took some time, but I AM FREE

(c) John Patrick Boutilier, 2013
All Rights Reserved
A rewrite of a poem I wrote in 1977.


  1. (((Ahwoooo)))

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