Posted by: Ron DuBour | November 5, 2016

Drowning in self loathing~by Joeleyne Ford



Drowning in self loathing

Drowning in self loathing, I hate what I’ve become
Lost to a desert of barreness beneath the scorching sun
I wallow in my sadness, I rue the day I met
Satan disguised in kindness, the man I can’t forget
His evil hurt me deeply, his tongue cut like a knife
Like a broken mirror, he nearly destroyed my life
I ponder on his existance, every single day
Why God did you allow this madness, every night I pray…
I’m strong I am a survivor, not a victim anymore
I’ve discovered ‘love’ has a price when money walks out the door
What great karmic misjustice had I done, to have befallen such a fate
Entrusted my heart, mind and soul to someone who can only hate
I’m grateful for the lesson, for much more have I learned
Be assured, I’m now aware and shant again get burned !
I look around at my sitaution, with tears I silently weep
None of us are better off, we are all a flock of sheep !
‘Working class heros’ who know all about hardship and pain
You’ve seen us working tirelessly, yet never asked our name…
We are the ones who serve you, make sure your needs are seen
So that you can relax, inside your delusional bubbles and dream
How many would stop in here, for a cup of tea ?
Despite the way I’m living, just to say hello to me ?
The ex has given me value, that no other lesson could have taught
I appreciate my humbleness and the struggles it has brought
We call our compound a ‘Jondolo’ – poor mans land I say
Don’t judge us by our conditions, we try our best each day…..
So I shall indeed awaken Monday morning, with a smile upon my face
And noone shall be the wiser to my heartache and problems that I face……
5 November 2016

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