Posted by: Ron DuBour | November 27, 2017

They beat me~by Lilian Dipasupil Kunimasa


It Is Now Time (repost 2014)
by: Lilian Dipasupil Kunimasa

 

They beat me

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and outdoor

They beat me
I called you to save me
but you just kept silent
and I resented you
They took our babies from us
I begged you to save our children
but you just let them
And I blamed you
They raped me
I cried out for you to protect me
but you just closed your eyes
And I stopped trusting you
You were my man, my provider and protector
but when I needed you
you weren’t there
And I hated you
How could I let you tell me what to do,
When you could not save me?
How could I submit to you,
When you could not save us?
How can I trust you,
When you could not protect me?
So I have to stand alone
Be the one who could protect me and our children.
I stopped trusting you
I stopped loving you
I stopped honouring you
I stopped valuing you
and in turn
I became valueless to you
I didn’t hear your silent cries
when I was beaten
I didn’t see the frustration in your eyes
when our children were sold
I didn’t see your anger
when I was being ravished
I didn’t see you at all.
I had to hold my emotions
to be strong for the family
I fought hard but you didn’t care.
You say you wanted to be there
You say you wanted to protect me
You say you wanted to
but you made it so
I couldn’t trust you anymore
I didn’t see the hidden hands
shaping our destiny
all I saw was my pain
all I saw was my struggles
all I saw was the feeling that you neglected me
For all those times
I blamed you
For all those times
you’ve let us down
For all the times
you’ve broken my spirit
with your words and actions
For all those times
you’ve openly rejected me
For all those times
you tried to control me
For all those times
you thought less of me
For all those resentment and distrust
I’ve held against you for centuries
I’m sorry
My eyes are now wide open
It is now time
for me to let go and forgive
It is now time
for me to see the king in you
It is now time for me
to forget all the wrongs
And let you see your queen in me

I have read Aisha Williams’ inspiring poem The Apology
and it hit me how culture and individuals can have different views.
I asked her permission to use her poem in showing another view.
I hope you will visit her wall and read her poem, be awestruck as well-
See the beauty of a woman’s heart despite the horrors of slavery.


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