Posted by: Ron DuBour | March 28, 2019

Numb To The Pain~by Nathan Antoine


 

 

Numb To The Pain

Image may contain: one or more people and smoking

Sometimes
As soon as I open my eyes
To a sunrise
I can tell it’s going to be a long day
But it’s been a lot of long days lately
And so
Sometimes
It’s not that I don’t want to smile
But orange vibes
Have lingered for a while
Leaving me gray
With none to give
And nothing to say
Because
Somestimes
The reality of it all
Becomes so much
I become
Numb to the pain

Like washed up love

I met you
Beautiful
Natural
Now
Wigs
Plastic surgery
And make up
Make up more of you
Than me
But they love it
Real name or not
Ablaze
Internet fame
Wild fire, you just won’t stop
But i’m done
Because you’re gone
So, it’s not that I’m fake
But when real love only exist in the matrix
You’re no longer a protein
So, I have nothing to gain
Yet, your loss, made me evolve
And became numb to the pain

Like living while black

I was born this way
Dark chocolate
And amazing
And then learned
I was less than and slack
A dressed up, trouble making, monkey
Worth millions, I was black
Which means
Perfect for target practice
Because
Crime and savagery defined me
Or else Im still
A thug
An athlete
Or a dealer
Dating a stripper with fake breast and hips
Summed up as
Just another black face with red lips
But I grew up
And assumed that was just history books
Yet, from day in
And night out
My soul weeps and shouts
For each new body
That looks like me
But will now be
A new part of history
And so
Sometimes
I feel like I’m helpless
Like all I can do is write about it
But even that causes me so much pain
Still
I do it anyway
Because history repeats itself
And now
I’m just numb to the pain

Like trying to live and get a head

Work doesn’t always seem stable
But as long as I’m able
I work hard
And it pays off
But that sometimes
Requires long days
And sleepless nights
Although
I’ve learned
Progress without hard work
Is only temporary gain
And I’ve been there before
So, I know what I’m doing
I’ve mastered this
I don’t need sleep
I’m just numb to the pain

Like sometimes
When I grab my devoted companion
I realize
My Facebook timeline
Is filled with crime
Or rather domestic terror
Terrorizing more than my mind
But I no longer care
So, I scroll by
And pay it no mind
Because i’m numb to the pain

I mean, really
Who has the time
To find
A fuck to give
When my own life is a movie in the making
Except
I’m no actor
Again
Not faking
So, I have nothing to gain
Truth is
It is what it is
Because
I’m numb to the pain

You know
Sometimes
Even on a sunny day
I’ll look out the window
And it’ll start to rain
But I no longer care
I guess
I’m just numb to the pain.

Nathan Antoine©
The Reach
All Copyrights Reserved
Photo Credit: Laurie Cooper


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