Posted by: Ron DuBour | April 15, 2019

P.M.S.~by rldubour




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Everyday I get in trouble
My wife will tell you best
And after fifty years
She still has PMS

I asked her if she was on a
Perpetual Munching Spree.
There must be a reason for
That Puffy Mid-Section that I see.

I’ll just make a sign
Hang it by her seat.
So everyone can read
Provide Me Sweets!

All these years together
I’ve learned a little trick.
It’s time to stop when I hear
People Make me Sick.

And those hot flashes
That’s her body’s furnace.
Probably the chocolate as
Those Pimples May Surface.

Now shut off from the treats
I hear her heart a throbbing.
She looks at me teary eyed
Saying, “Pardon My Sobbing.”


She runs into the bedroom
Now she’s in a rant.
I yelled to her when she comes out
Can you Pass My Sweat pants?


She replied wait right there
For you I have a gift.
At the time I did not know
About her Psychotic Mood Shift.

I heard~~ Pass My Shotgun
Not knowing what to expect.
My wife has gone crazy
A Potential Murder Suspect!

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